7 things child experts tell us you should never do. Plus, 7 things you should

New parents often find themselves bombarded with advice from family, friends and even total strangers on how to look after their baby – even if they haven't asked for it.

Well-meaning though it may be, it can cause confusion at best and panic at worst, leaving parents wondering what to do for the best when it comes to the safety and wellbeing of their little one.

Cutting through the confusion, we've asked seven experts what one evidence-based thing parents of babies and toddlers should avoid doing and what one thing they should.

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1. The dentist

Dr Natalie Bradley, chair of the British Dental Association (BDA) Young Dentist Committee, consultant in special care dentistry and clinical director of the Dentaid Charity (UK).

Don't give babies and toddlers juice or fizzy drinks

Around one in 10 three-year-olds have experienced tooth decay and sugary juice and fizzy drinks are major culprits, especially if children are allowed to frequently sip them or drink them from a baby bottle, both of which bathe the teeth in sugar and can cause them to rot.

As these sugar drinks have little nutritional value, children should be encouraged to drink either milk or water from a free-flow cup from six months of age and ditching feeding bottles once they've turned one.

Dr Bradley says: 'If your child has already developed bad habits, try diluting the sugary drinks down gradually until they will accept drinking water, and only offer juice or fizzy drinks occasionally and at meal times only.'

Do teach them that dentists aren't scary

A dental appointment in the first year of a child's life is vital for identifying any problems, instilling the importance of good oral hygiene and, crucially, preventing fear of going to the dentist.

• Talk positively about going to the dentist. Try not to talk about or discuss your own negative experiences or fears.
• Take them for their first dental check-up before their first birthday. Take them when their first milk teeth appear then for check-ups at least once a year from 18 months old.
• Start brushing as soon as their first teeth start showing. When they're old enough to do it themselves, supervise them until they are seven years old to make sure they're doing it properly, including brushing for long enough and not swallowing toothpaste.

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2. The dietitian

Expert Bahee Van de Bor, specialist paediatric dietitian and spokesperson for the British Dietetic Association.

Don't cut out gluten unless medically advised to

If your little one has a bout of diarrhoea, it's most likely related to an acute illness, gastroenteritis or food poisoning and will get better within a few days.

Bahee says: 'Some parents may focus on gluten-containing foods as a potential cause but it's important not to eliminate gluten from their diet without expert guidance'. 

Gluten-rich foods like bread and pasta are vital sources of energy for a toddler's growing body and research has shown that gluten-free diets can lead to a reduction in the population of beneficial bacteria in you child's gut.

Do eat together as often as you can

Bahee says: 'Research shows that children who eat with their families regularly have better mental health and perform better academically.'

Family meals also provide a great opportunity to expose babies and toddlers to a variety of foods and teach them about healthy eating habits.

Studies suggest that the simple act of sharing family meals can help reverse picky eating and improve children's willingness to try new foods.

3. The health visitor

Georgina Mayes, policy and quality lead at the Institute of Health Visiting.

Don't leave your baby unattended in the bath

It's a danger even if it's for a very short time and the bath is shallow.

Georgina says: 'Babies can drown in just a few centimetres of water, and even if quickly rescued they may already have stopped breathing, which could lead to brain damage or even prove fatal.'

Bath seats aren't safety devices, and while your little one may look secure in one they can easily wriggle or slip out, or the seat itself can tip over and immerse your baby in water. 

Do respond to your baby's needs – it's not 'spoiling' them!

You may be told you're 'spoiling' your baby if you go to them when they're crying or that they're attention-seeking if they want a cuddle, but experts say this isn't the case.

Georgina says: 'You can't spoil a baby by responding to their needs. Responding in a sensitive, appropriate and timely way is crucial for healthy baby brain development.'

Reacting positively to their 'needs' and, over time, teaching them how these differ from 'wants' will help you to raise them feeling secure but not indulged.

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4. The optician

Ed Fox, dispensing optician and spokesperson for the Association of British Dispensing Opticians (ABDO).

Don't let little ones go out in the sun without protecting their eyes

Babies' eyelids are more transparent than adults' and bigger doses of damaging UV light can get into their eyes. Put CE marked sunglasses on them from six months of age, whether it's abroad or even on a cloudy day in the UK.

Ed says: 'It can be difficult to persuade babies and toddlers to keep sunglasses on, so speak to a dispensing optician about the best fit for babies and fun style for toddlers.'

Alternatively, use a UV protected hat or visor, put a sun canopy on their pushchair and keep them in the shade where possible (they shouldn't be in the sun at all before the age of six months).

Do spend time outside to keep their vision healthy

Research shows a link between focusing at short distances for long periods – such as when children use smartphones or tablets – and impaired eye development, whereas time spent outside where they're looking at things further away reduces a child's risk of developing short-sightedness.

'Anywhere where your baby or toddler can focus at a greater distance than they would indoors is beneficial to their eye development,' says Ed. 

• Point out distant objects such as birds and airplanes when out. This acts as both a learning activity and to see if they're struggling to see distant objects clearly.
• Limit the use of electronic devices. The World Health Organization recommends no screen time at all for under twos and a maximum of one hour of supervised screen time per day for two to four-year-olds.
• Visit an optician if you are worried. Your health visitor can check the development of your baby's eyes but take them to an optician from around two years of age or sooner if you have any concerns.

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5. The children's feet expert 

James Welch, advanced specialist podiatrist in podopaediatrics (children's podiatry) and Royal College of Podiatry spokesperson.

Don't put shoes on a baby too early

Babies shouldn't be wearing shoes until they are attempting to walk or 'cruising' (often from around 10 months old) – and even then stage-appropriate footwear should be worn or no shoes at all.

James says: 'Babies' feet are mainly cartilage at this stage and wearing pram shoes or structured footwear before they start walking can impact on the development of the feet.'

Foot coverings such as blankets or swaddling shouldn't be wrapped tightly around their feet, and make sure that socks, tights and sleep suits also have plenty of space so the development of the foot isn't affected.

Do let babies start walking at their own pace

Some babies start walking at around nine months while others don't get going until well past their first birthday – whatever the situation, James says: 'Babies and toddlers should be allowed to walk and gain confidence at their own rate.'

Trying to make them stand up and walk along before they're ready won't make them progress any quicker. Instead, support their development by: 

• Encourage tummy time. This will help to strengthen their neck muscles in readiness for sitting up, standing, cruising and, eventually, walking.
• Help them when they're ready. Hold both of their hands as you take a few steps together and when they're ready for their first independent steps, get them walking between you and another trusted adult. 
• Make sure your home is safe for a baby on the move. Ensure stair gates are fitted, furniture kept away from windows and there are no looped cords, such as curtain or blind cords, that they could get caught up in.

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6. The safe sleeping expert

Kate Holmes of The Lullaby Trust charity.

Don't make your baby too warm in their cot

Kate says: 'Overheating increases the chances of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), so it’s important to keep an eye on your baby for signs they are getting too hot.'

If your baby is too hot, the back of their neck or their chest will feel sweaty or clammy and a layer of bedclothes or bedding should be removed to try and cool them down. 

Reduce the risk of your baby overheating by avoiding thick or bulky bedding and duvets and choosing firmly tucked-in sheets and blankets (not above shoulder height) or a well-fitted baby sleeping bag instead.

Do put them to sleep on their back

This is one of the most protective actions you can take to keep your baby safe while they slumber, so make it a habit from day one, whether it's a sleep or nap, night or day.

Substantial evidence from around the world shows that it significantly reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

• Keep the sleeping area simple. Choose a simple mattress with no cot bumpers or loose bedding. 
• Keep the sleeping surface flat. Don't incline, tilt or prop the mattress, cot or baby. The Lullaby Trust says it won't help with reflux and it's unlikely to improve cold symptoms either.

7. The child hearing expert

Claire Benton, British Academy of Audiology director.

Don't smoke around your child

Passive smoking is known to increase the risk of a child developing otitis media with effusion (OME) – often known as 'glue ear'.

Claire says: 'Although OME is very common in children and it's sometimes difficult to know what factors make a child more at risk of developing it, passive smoking has been shown to be one of the things that we can change that does make it worse.' 

OME can cause hearing loss, which may mean that your child is not able to clearly hear speech, and this can then lead to their own speech being delayed.

Do trust your instincts if you're worried about their hearing

Claire says: 'Even if your baby passed their newborn hearing screen at birth, things can change so if you're worried about your child’s hearing or communication you should get their hearing tested by a qualified audiologist.' 

• Trust your instincts. Leaving any hearing loss unmanaged can lead to problems with speech development, poor emotional wellbeing and long lasting issues with communication for a child.
• Request a test. You can do this via your GP or, in some places, by contacting your local paediatric audiology service directly. The National Deaf Children’s Society also has advice about hearing loss in children.

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